Why Is It Never Cow&Chow?
by MaceEcam
Summary: It's lunch time and Bueno Nacho is closed for renovation. What's a Ron to do? Inspired by a true story.


A/N:

_It could be said that the best fiction is often inspired by fact. _

_And so it was._

_I had just finished my classes for the day and it was time for lunch. (All my classes are early morning). I had tired of the campus cafeteria and so thought I would try the campus café instead, a little place called The Storm Center._

_It should have been called hell._

_Or the DMV. Either works. _

_After finally getting my food and sitting down I thought how would out favorite partaker of fast food Ron Stoppable would act. _

_And so it began._

Ron Stoppable looked at his watch. It was already half past one, and Rufus had to be picked up from the pet salon by five. Ron was planning on having a quick lunch then head to pick him up. With luck most of the lunch crowd would be gone. He had already wasted fifteen minutes walking from school to his favorite Mexican restaurant only to find it closed for renovation. After a letting loose a screech to the heavens that would of put Charlton Heston to shame Ron had pulled himself together and headed here instead. Now, with a quick meal in mind he opened the door of the Cow&Chow and stepped inside.

So much for a quick lunch.

The place was packed, with a line stretching almost to the door and people lined against the walls, waiting for there number to be called, or to sit down.

After looking at his watch to see if he had time to go elsewhere, Ron sighed and got in line.

Getting to the counter did not take as long as Ron had thought. Smiling, Ron stepped up to order.

"I'll have a cheese burger with no lettuce and a large coke." He said to the person taking his order. The guy kinda looked like Napoleon Dynamite with his blank stare.

"Cheese burger with lettuce and a small coke" He repeated back.

"Ah, no. NO lettuce and a LARGE coke."

The guy change something on the menu. "That'll be $9.24."

Ron stared at him, then looked at the menu and did the math. "Um, excuse me, but isn't that a bit much? I only ordered two items."

"No that's right. Cheese burger, cheese burger no lettuce, large coke and a small coke."

Ron was starting to get ticked off.

_Calm down Stoppable, be patient. _

This man was an idiot. Or he really didn't want to be here.

Probably both.

"No. I want a cheese burger with no lettuce and a large coke." He said very slowly.

"Oh ok. That'll be $14.36"

"WHAT? Why?"

"Because of the Cheese burger, 2 cheese burgers no lettuce, 2 large cokes and a small coke."

Ron had to stop him self from lurching at the guy. "STOP ADDING STUFF! Look, just clear the register and start over."

"I'm sorry sir, but we do not accept custom orders."

Ron ran his hands done the side of his face.

"Oh wait, did you just want the one cheese burger with no lettuce and a large coke?"

"YES"

"Ok, that'll be $5.12. Here's your drink and number" he said handing Ron a drink and a slip of paper.

Ron flipped the paper over and smiled as he saw the number 44 printed on to it. "_At least it won't be a long wait"_ He thought.

"**23" **the voice called out over the intercom.

Ron's face fell.

And so the waiting began, Number after number passed, as Ron stood there waiting for his food. It seemed like hours (when it in fact had only been twenty minutes, long enough when as hungry as Ron was had passed when finally he was brought out of his stupor

when he heard the list get to the forties.

"**41"**

_This is it. _He thought.

"**42"**

_I can taste that burger now. _As images of a big, juicy, cheese covered buger flooded his mind, he fidgeted with the number his hand.

"**43"**

_This is it this is it this is it!_

"**45"**

_Wait what?_

He looked at the display that had the current number on it. Sure enough, the number forty-five was listed as the current number.

He ran to the pick up window. "I'm sorry, did I miss my number being called? I'm number forty-four."

The guy looked at his display. "You've already picked up your order."

"What?" Ron asked confused. "No I haven't."

"Says here you did."

"That's it. Get me the manager."

"Hey Edd" the guy shouted to the back of the story.

"Yeah!" came the reply as a guy who looked almost exactly like Ned save for the square rimmed glasses, black and yellow tie, and blue shirt.

Ron explained this situation to him.

"Well, looks to me like you already picked it up-urk"

Ron had had it. Blue flames appeared around him and covered his body as he gripped both of them by the collars and lifted them up. He leaned in real close.

"Listen up. Remember the Lorwardian invasion? I'm the guy who threw them into the ship. Now GIVE ME MY FOOD."

They gave him his food.

As he walked to an open table near the wall, he ignored everyone staring at him and smiled to himself. It was only 2:10 and he had plenty of time to leave and go get Rufus before the pet salon closed.

He sat down and unwrapped his cheese burger and sighed, letting in the smell of the sandwich. Life was good.

He then took a bite of it and froze.

It had lettuce.

A/N _And so ends my first attempt at turning reality into fiction. Most of the things that take place within this fic have happened to me at one point or other, but the one part that caused me to open up my word processor and begin transcribing onto the realm of fanfiction was my number being skipped. _

_I may, someday in the fullness of time write a continuation to this, in which Ron attempts to cross town in time to pick up Rufus, as I am sure all of us understand what it is like to try and get somewhere and it seem like the Powers that Be are against it._

_For now, however, I must bid you adieu, and take my leave._

_Signed, Mace Ecam _

_PS: I would also like to remind you all that "A Song for Kim" has made it to round two in the category of best songfic. If you enjoyed this tale, please drop by and give it a read and, who knows, you might end up voting for it._


End file.
